The Arts in NYC

4

John

My brother once told me this really funny story about his good friend John. So John and my brother, Kevin, were really good friends all throughout high school. They were (and perhaps still are) both nerdy, Asian kids who were obsessed with computer games. John was a decent-looking guy except he had one big problem: his face was buried in pimples. He was always complaining about how he couldn't get a date because girls were put off by the excess amount of pimples he had. So one summer, the summer that John went back to China, he decided to rectify the problem.

***Flash forward to two months later when he comes back from China***

One day, Kevin met up with John to hang out with him since he was gone for the entire summer. The weather was still pretty warm even though fall was right around the corner. Kevin noticed that John's face had cleared up significantly and was about to complement him when he noticed something out of place: John was wearing a thick sweater.

"Hey John. It's good to see you. What's up with the sweater? It's like a million degree out today."

Suddenly feeling very uncomfortable, John clutched his sweater near his chest and replied, "Oh really? I don't think so. I'm actually kind of cold."

"Come on man. The sun is beaming down on us right now. I'm sweating just looking at you."

Annoyed that my brother won't leave him alone about the sweater, he said, "Listen, if I feel cold, then I feel cold. Just lay off of me. Sheesh."

"Whoa, whoa. I'm simply making an observation about your sweater. Why are you getting all sensitive? Yo, what's wrong? Did something happen in China that's making you all grouchy? Why are you acting like this?"

Knowing that he couldn't really keep it from Kevin, John gave in. "All right. I'll tell you, but you have got to promise that you won't tell anyone, or else I'll kill you."

"Okay. Go on..."

"So when I was in China, I stayed at my aunt's place and I was talking to her about my acne problem and asked if she knew of any remedies that could cure it. She said that her daughter, or my cousin, was on these pills for a year and it totally took care of her blemishes. I asked her if I could have the left over pills and she said sure. So I started to take these pills over the next month and a half. After some time had passed, I began to notice that the pimples on my face were clearing away, but I also noticed other physical changes in my body..."

That's when John grew uncomfortable again and clutched his chest one more time.

"John...finish the story."

"All right. Just give me some time. Anyways, I asked my cousin what were in those pimple pills because they were causing some weird changes to my body. When she heard that I was taking them, she started freaking out. She said, 'OH MY GOD! My mom gave them to you? OH NO! That's not good. Those pills were specifically prescribed for girls.' Then I started freaking out, 'What do you mean prescribed for girls?' She replied, 'I mean...those pills are loaded with female hormones.' I almost fainted."

Upon realizing what John was saying and why he had been clutching his chest the whole time, my brother exloded in laughter, "YOU HAVE BOOBS?!?!??"

It took John a while to gain back his old physique, but during that time, he earned a new nickname: Boobman.

-Cherry H.