CUNY Macaulay Honors College at Baruch College/Professor Bernstein
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No Regrets

Who She Was

Lynette Dimaculangan: a New York City resident currently juggling three full-time jobs as a nurse, mother and wife. However, this was not the type of profile her 17-year-old self would have expected for the future. In her youth, she was the spotlight of attention, whether she was around family, friends or schoolmates. She played Romeo in her all girls Catholic high school’s annual play and during the yearly village-wide celebrations that take place in the Philippines, known as the fiesta, she would sing on stage for all her town to watch. She had told her parents that she aspired to be a doctor, but secretly longed to be a singer.

Then, in the 1980s, just as she turned 18, the immigration of young Filipino singers to Japan became a rising trend. She sought an opportunity to be a part of this movement, and without hesitation, auditioned for a talent agency seeking Filipinas to travel abroad and perform. The eldest of ten children, she realized that this chance to become a singer would not only fulfill her dreams, but also her duty to give back to her parents and help them out financially. She began taking vocal lessons to improve her skills and mustered a great deal of enthusiasm from her younger siblings. Both her mother and father supported her endeavor to move to Japan, but an unexpected change in her life made her question the path that she wanted to follow.

She was not searching for anything of the sort when she first met him. A relationship seemed irrelevant, if not obstructive to her goals. But love, Lynette says, cannot be planned. She and her boyfriend started spending most of their days together. At the time their romance first began to blossom, she was set on leaving the Philippines to launch a modest career as a singer in Japan. Although she had intended to do this both for herself and her struggling family, she could not find the strength to leave her new love. The two options in front of her sparked an internal battle that she struggled with for two months. To stay or to go? She could not bring herself to decide. Surprisingly, her parents did not push her in either direction. Without the pressure to pursue this opportunity abroad, in the end, she chose her boyfriend over her love for singing.

In letting go of this chance to help provide for her family and gain independence, Lynette felt as if she had taken a great risk. Perhaps moving towards change creates a deep sense of uncertainty, but she realized that sometimes, maintaining the status quo is a gamble as well. She admits that for a while, she was afraid that she had made the wrong decision. She did not know if her boyfriend was “the one” or if her parents could continue making ends meet for their exceptionally large family. She envied the other young ladies who were making their own money abroad and wondered how she could have let such an opportunity slip from her fingers. However, she soon came to see that as a teenager, she still belonged at home, near those dearest to her. She was dependent on the comfort her family provided and the familiarity of her small town.

She later heard stories from her friend in Japan that many of the young Filipino women were lured into the lucrative world of prostitution. After listening to dramatic reports from her friend, she was thankful that she had decided to stay; her family and boyfriend were too. Although eventually, she would venture into new lands on her own, from this experience, Lynette learned that sometimes, things do happen for a reason. She also realized that an opportunity might not always be the best opportunity for a person if one is not ready to confront the challenges that accompany it. Although she never did pursue her dreams of becoming a singer, Lynette says with confidence that she has no regrets.

Photo Credits:

http://www.hcteurope.com/japan/travel.htm

http://www.webresourcesdepot.com/photoshop-heart-brushes-collection/

http://www.ottsworld.com/blogs/travel-to-mongolia/

http://www.faqs.org/photo-dict/phrase/930/gamble.html

1 comment

1 chiub92 { 12.11.10 at 5:07 am }

I am really relieved to hear that your mother did not go to Japan to become a singer; it’s scary how she heard the stories of prostitution! It’s nice to know that she chose family over her dream career because family always comes first.