While reading the Albertine Notes, I – as I’m sure many of my classmates – felt like I was going through a really bad mind trip. But, more importantly, from the beginning of the story when we’re introduced to what Albertine does – I kept thinking about time and questioned if eternity is actually a good thing.
It is quite intriguing that knowing the past, present and future or rather, living in a timeless state is described as something dangerous in the Albertine Notes. In all of the spiritual and religious traditions, living in a timeless state is something that you strive for. It is the defining quality of “heaven” – a place filled with eternal bliss.
There is nothing blissful about Kevin and the other character’s tumultuous journey in and out of the past, present and future. The first lesson is that a timeless state involves all memories – including the negative ones. From the beginning, Kevin has to relive memories of being heartbroken by Selena, “Bob” has to relive memories of his wife cheating on him and later, we learn that Cortez has memories of his drunk uncle molesting him. Additionally, a side-effect of prolonged Albertine use is chronic forgetfulness. In the middle of a telephone conversation with his parents, Kevin doesn’t know why they are angry with him and can’t seem to remember his own mother’s face. This “forgetfulness” is a quality that I realized must exist in a timeless state. Later, we learn that people can not only relive memories but they can alter them by eliminating certain key people. Several of the characters suddenly disappear as Eddy sees fit. All of these examples made me think that perhaps, an eternal state of being is not something that I would personally want.
This sense of hopeless and grim continues when at the “end” of the story, Kevin is directly given the title of “hero” for being used as a pawn by the resistance movement made up of scientists to stop Cortez from bombing the city. We think that, even though Kevin inadvertently began the chain of Albertine usage, he has provided some kind of closure and hope. However, Kevin gives us a glimpse into the future of New York and his description of the destructed city does not seem to fit our conception of a linear heroic tale. Many of our iconic landmarks and buildings have been destroyed and there are signs of radiation. Did Cortez end up bombing the city even after all of Kevin’s “worthwhile” suffering?
Finally, the last paragraph just complicated my perception of timelessness further. It describes the feeling of generations of immigrants that their “time” has come “to be heard.” Honestly, I am still wrapping my brain around this final paragraph which seemed very out of place to me at first. But, I remember that Ernst tells Kevin if no one can remember the past, then their plan has worked. It seems that the New Yorkers may have actually forgotten all previous memories. By going back to the centuries-old history of New York City while he is in the future, there is a message to the remaining New Yorkers (and to the readers?) that time is much more connected and less linear than we think.
