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"You have a good start here. I would like to seem more work, however. How exactly could the park be reconnected to the waterway? If you remind me, then I can send you some amazing pictures on a roadway that was decommissioned in South Korea to reveal a stream that had been covered over. In Yonkers, there is also a plan to uncover a section of the Saw Mill River that was paved over (look up the Groundwork Hudson Valley website). You can draw inspiration for your recommendations from these past and current efforts. How would you choose which native species to plant in the park? Refer back to your Manahatta research at the beginning of the presentation. Could this park be connected to Central Park or Highbridge Park (or even Riverside on the west side)? Building "green" corridors for nature lovers and biodiversity to move through the city could be an exciting new plan for the future. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Future )
 
"Can you explicitly contrast the conditions today with what was there in the past (from your earlier sections derived from the Manahatta project)? I'm not sure that the picture above is actually showing Manhattan schist. The rock in that picture looks like a constructed rock wall, and may be limestone or something else. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Geographic Features/Species )
 
"Can you provide some context for tree ID? Any info on how plantings were done at the site?"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Tree Identification )
 
"This section is good, but what are the erosion problems and how are they being addressed? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Carl Schurz Park Association )
 
"Can you provide more informative captions for the photos? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Present )
 
"Some of this information is redundant with the previous section. I'm not sure that these sections need to be separated using the drop-down menu. Same question: images of the older structures or Gracie Mansion from previous years? What sorts of activities were happening on these older estates? Were the lands dedicated to agriculture, left wooded, maintained as formal gardens and/or lawns, etc? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Gracie Mansion )
 
"The information in this section is great, but careful editing is needed to clean up some of the typos and run-on sentences. Come to office hours if you need help with those aspects. Do you have any images of Gracie mansion or the older structures on the site? Can you include a better transitional sentence or two as you move from talking about the mansion to talking about C. Schurz Park? Do you address FDR drive and its impact in a different section? If not, then you could do so here (or at least point out that you will be addressing it in a different section). Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Gracie Mansion and the Building of Carl Schurz Park )
 
"This page is not needed. Maybe the two sections can be combined in one section? jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Post-European Settlement )
 
"This section is interesting, but my first question is what happened to the coastline!? It seems to have changed dramatically on your aerial images, so that change needs to be addressed. The opening paragraph for this page should be edited for clarity, as it is a bit confusing to immediately start talking about the Welikia project. It makes it seem like all of the sudden you are veering on to a different topic. The links for the two habitat types are good, but can you tell the readers something interesting about appalachian oak-pine forest and oak-tulip tree forest. Why might these types of forest grow in this specific area in Manhattan? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Pre-European Settlement )
 
"Nice, brief introduction to this section. Perhaps you can include informative captions for the photos, although I am assuming that Gracie mansion is in all of the pictures. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post History )
 
"The list of sections on this page is a good addition. It is kind of a cliche, but typically good advice for presentations is to tell your audience what you are going to tell them, tell them, and then tell them what you just told them! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post The Historical and Environmental Significance of Carl Schurz Park )
 
"Please include a formal title and list of full names of the authors of this presentation. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post The Historical and Environmental Significance of Carl Schurz Park )
 
"Good sources, but you need to use a standard format. Articles and books that exist in a print form do not require a web site to be cited, particularly if the web citation is just an online database. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Sources )
 
"A decent start here, but the images, quotes, and textual information need to be edited to work together and provide a clear story. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post The Architectural Vision of Prospect Park: Olmsted & Vaux )
 
"Interesting addition to the presentation, but there is a lot more to be said about this topic. Many articles have been published on it...you are just scratching the surface here, so more work needs to be done!"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Urban Geese )
 
"The first few paragraphs of this section were quite good. If you can clean up and expand on this part about the past and current forest composition, then this section would be strengthened. Do you have any information on the tree planting / landscape philosophies of the original designers, e.g. did they favor certain species for ecological or other reasons? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Tree Identification )
 
"This section is informative, but I'm not sure how it fits in to the overall project. At the very least, you should provide some description of what factors drove the creation of the alliance (e.g. decline in condition of the park due to lack of city funding, bad economy, etc). Can you highlight any initiatives from the alliance that are focused on improving the ecology? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Prospect Park Alliance )
 
"This section is very good, but you could perhaps describe some of the features detailed in the early plans for the park that were adopted or never came to fruition. Any more information on the original ecology of the area would also be excellent. Have you checked the Welikia website, or searched for papers on the Brooklyn forest? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post History )
 
"Please provide a formal title and list of full names of authors of this presentation! The photos are nice, but perhaps you can weave them in to the narrative somehow! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Prospect Park )
 
"You have identified good sources, but please use a consistent format for the citations, e.g. the year should always be in the same place, etc."
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Sources )
 
"This section is very good. Again, however, I think you could provide more information on the excellent historical imagery, and provide more visuals on the wildlife aspects. The non-native Italian wall lizard would also be worth a mention. There have been a few studies on this species locally. I could help you find the papers...just send me an email or ask me in class. There are a huge number of videos on Youtube about the Ridgewood Reservoir, primarily about the controversy with the Bloomberg administration. It may be worth posting links to a few of the more informative videos (especially if they address ecological aspects of the site). Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Ridgewood Reservoir )
 
"I also think the section on the future needs work. It is too brief in its current one-paragraph format. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Forest Park )
 
"This section is coming together nicely! The historical maps and imagery are excellent, but you need more explanation as to what the viewer is looking at. More photos of wildlife and geological features would also be great. Somewhere in this presentation, your group should include a discussion of the terminal glacial moraine on which these two parks are located! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Forest Park )
 
"As for all of the other groups, you should also give some description of where the park is located (e.g. what neighborhoods surround it) and how big it is!"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Flushing Meadows Corona Park )
 
"A formal title and list of the authors is needed! A few more basic facts about the two areas, such as what neighborhoods they are located in, how big they are, etc. would be welcome! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Controversy of Ridgewood Reservoir & Fall of Forest Park )
 
"Your sources are fine, but please standardize the format of these citations. For example, if the year is in parentheses then it should always be in parentheses. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Sources )
 
"Where did you find this poem, and does it have an interesting backstory? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Poem )
 
"This section is also very good in terms of the information about proposals that have already been developed. I would like to seem more ideas from the group, however! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Looking Ahead )
 
"Very good start on this section. You could likely find an actual bird list for Riverside Park and if you looked hard enough on the web. More pictures of important species would also be welcome. Statements as to the overall importance of green spaces in NYC to the Spring and Fall bird migrations would also improve this section. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Wildlife Today )
 
"Ok, so I see that this section is an annotated version of the previous section (and is much better!). A few more visuals, particularly photos of important species or landscape features that are no longer present, would make this section more visually appealing. Again, please include the year in the in-text citations, and describe where these results came from. Can you provide an overall opinion on what these results mean in terms of biodiversity? I believe that the Manahatta project will also provide lists of ecosystem types for an area, e.g. red oak swamp, mixed hardwood, etc. If you can tell us what these ecosystems were (with perhaps pictures of important trees), then the narrative would be more compelling. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Early Geographical Landscape & Wildlife )
 
"Please annotate and summarize these data for the reader. As presented, the information has no context. Also please provide a complete citation to the Welikia website. How did you obtain these charts and tables? Are these results from searching an address in the Manahatta database? The reader needs to know where this information came from if it is not the result of your own research project. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Picture 2 )
 
"I like the timeline app and you have a good description of the history. However, I would make the language a little more formal, e.g. at the beginning the writing sounds a bit like a tour book! You have included some appropriate in-text citations, but the format needs to be improved: e.g. (Author's Last Name, Year) would be a better format. You seem to have included (Last First Page Number). For example, a book from Leslie Day from 2007 would be simply (Day, 2007). If you wanted to include the page number, then you could use (Day, 2007; pg. 18). I think the format used here is difficult to read. One big gap in the presentation so far is any information on the original natural state of the site before development. Perhaps this information is elsewhere, but you might weave some of it in to this section. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Historical to Present Day Development )
 
"Is there a narrative that you can provide with these pictures? They seem a little bit out of place...perhaps this section should go at the end? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Gallery )
 
"One other thing...you need a more informative title and a list of your full names as the authors!"
--( posted on Nov 14, 2010, commenting on the post Flushing Meadows Corona Park )
 
"The beginning of this section still reads like a tourist brochure. Perhaps make it a bit more compelling. The video is interesting, but should be accompanied by some text and perhaps other photos to describe what happened (and what challenges are presented by such a destructive event). Can you mention something about the Flushing Meadows conservancy and successes / shortcomings of this type of group? It seems that the fonts are a little bit different in this page. Please standardize! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Future of Flushing Meadows Corona Park )
 
"I think again that this section needs material to tie it in to the other sections. You should also provide a strong rationale for doing tree identification. The most interesting reason from my perspective is to get an idea of whether planting patterns we know about from the past are reflected in the current tree composition at the site. Please remember that the second name in scientific names is not capitalized! Jason"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Tree Identifications )
 
"This section has some excellent information. My only comment is that it also lacks transitional material to tie it to the previous and following sections. There are also a few misspellings (i.e. mugwart is actually mugwort). You could expand a bit on the invasive species issue to address what is happening at the site now. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Willow Lake and Meadow Lake )
 
"This section is very interesting, but there needs to be something tying it together with the other sections. It is in the right order, but transitional material is needed, i.e. refer back to the previous sections and point to where your narrative will go next. "Environmental" is misspelled in the headings and in the menu bar. Jason"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Environmental Effects of Infrastructures )
 
"In the first sentence, "contributed" should be changed to "attributed". I have a couple of questions after reading this section: 1) Why was this site chosen for the World's Fair? 2) How did they get rid of the dump? 3) What is a World's Fair and why is it important!?"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Robert Moses and the World’s Fair )
 
"The visuals you have here are fantastic. However, the captions are not sufficiently informative. The three photos / maps at the top should have captions detailing the year they were produced, as well as a more detailed description. Any media you use should also be described in the text. The text needs some editing, and could be expanded to better explain the role of salt marshes in protecting NYC's marine environment. One aspect you should definitely include is the biodiversity (flora and fauna) that typically inhabit a salt marsh. Shellfish and other economically important species are of particular interest. You do mention the salt marsh grass, but more is needed. Please note that scientific names in italics should be capitalized as follows: Genus species As an aside, one of my graduate students was collecting soil at Willow Lake today. He found a layer of ash and coal just beneath the surface!"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Early History: The Swamp and Ash Dump )
 
"I think it would be a good idea to have a more substantive summary here, i.e. address specifically that you will be documenting the changes in Flushing Meadows from salt marsh to dump to world's fair to present ecological restoration efforts. Can you think of a way to organize the pictures so that they tell some kind of a story? Jason"
--( posted on Nov 12, 2010, commenting on the post Flushing Meadows Corona Park )