Bridging the Gap
The relationship that children have with their parents is a complicated one. Of the relationships, the more convoluted is that of the mother and the son. Age gaps, generational differences, and cultural misunderstandings have clouded over the connection that, though at times is compromised, exists between the two. After years of slammed doors, curt responses, and unintentionally cruel actions, one might ask what could be salvaged of the relationship. Samuel Freedman, renowned journalist for the New York Times, successful author of several books, and admired professor of Columbia University, seeks to bridge that gap and restore that lost connection in his book Who She Was.
Like all young adults, the child-parent situation can become strained and even unpleasant at times. For Freedman, his relationship with his mother, at least while she was living, was a particularly difficult one. His own mother, as he later found out, had also had a challenging relationship with her mother, and for reasons that he could understand. Therefore, for Freedman, his mother was a symbol of embarrassment and old worldliness, the way his grandmother Rose had been for her. He never took any specific interest in her life, until after she passed away. It was almost two decades before Freedman’s spark of filial piety was lighted. As he said in an exclusive meeting with Baruch College students, he wrote the book to “feel like her son again”. As a writer, what more could Freedman have done to absolve and restore the relationship he had with his mother.
Most memoirs are written about someone whom the author has had some sort of a sympathy or connection with. These people are usually famous or infamous, and they are written about because their lives are easily generalized to become relatable. Freedman’s opinions on the genre, however, are entirely different. He states that while most memoirs are written about famous people, he chooses to base his on entirely not famous, everyday, ordinary people. These, he feels, are the people that provide the supporting threads in the great cosmic quilt of the universe. Those famous people may shine more brightly in the fabric’s whole, but they are neither the most important nor the most interesting stories.
Freedman’s incredibly detailed descriptions and dedicated research on his mother’s life, which spanned over two years, is important to not only the readers who have happened upon the book, but also to himself. His book, Who She Was, provides himself with resolution, and inspires his readers, reminding them that their parents, or anyone important in their lives, are worthy of great introspection and curiosity. Who She Was teaches readers of all ages that while relationships may be strained at times, it is only when they are allowed to continue being less than desirable that suffering is caused. Therefore, one must work to resolve the inherent problems with the greatest, and most cherished talents they have.