From The Peopling of NYC

Since his birth in a dingy Israeli hospital ward just shy of twenty years ago, William has learned things. First, there are big things around, and they make noises. He would later learn to call these things "adults." Second, pink is the new red. Third, sharp things hurt. And so on. Things have not gotten much more sophisticated for him, and are therefore immaterial to any discussion of his life.

William enjoys language. He particularly enjoys playing with words and poorly parodying intelligent speech and writing. An example, from his early work: "I approached and queried, 'Constable, is this a viable thoroughfare?' The officer replied, 'Whaddaya talkin' about, mister?' Being averse to fomenting and fulminating, I proceeded to the arboretum of my pugilist companion."

William is a graduate of the Yeshivah of Flatbush Joel Braverman High School for Boys and Girls (class of 2005) and the Yeshivah of Flatbush Elementary School for Men and Women (class of 2001), both (contrary to all sense) in Midwood, a terribly fascinating section of Brooklyn. In the 2005-2006 academic year, William matriculated at an Orthodox Jewish seminary in Maaleh Adumim, Israel, where he studied in some depth the Bible, the Talmud, and other Ancient, Medieval, and Modern Judaic sources. He is presently a freshman, studying History and Religion, at Brooklyn College, one of the senior colleges of the City University of New York, an institution dear to his heart.