User talk:Nuwan.Panditaratne

From The Peopling of New York City

Could you merge the first three sections? Start the piece with the quote because it definitely draws the readers interest and then discuss your reason for your research and how you conducted your research. When you talk about the interviews, be more direct: To learn more about what Staten Islanders thought about crime, I interviewed 15 people, asking the following questions: What neighborhood do you live in?; Is there a lot of crime in your neighborhood?; What is your opinion of crime on Staten Island?; Do you think the police do an effective job of limiting crime on SI?

Then give a brief summary of their responses. Include the memorable quotes in this summary. You might also bring in some of what you said in your paper about being the victim of crim and knowing other people that were victims. This leads to your belief that there is crime but not always reported or maybe isolated to certain neighborhoods. You mentioned that crime is rising in SI. Based on what statistics? I thought in your paper you said that most people don't think there is much crime in SI. Don't forget to discuss the disparity between this belief and the rising stats. You need to include some of this real-life information to make your point about crime. You need some facts to balance the hear-say from your survey. What is the truth vs. the perception?

Look again at the last section of this page. Your sentences are very awkwardly constructed. I adjusted the first one to make it flow better. You need to do that with the others as well.

Could you do something with the map of the precincts? Use it to say something about police response, otherwise I'm not sure why it's here. --Maria.Bellamy 20:43, 30 April 2010 (UTC)